Due to a busy schedule I missed the hype wagon that is the new Indiana Jones movie. Usually when an event of this magnitude and importance occurs I'm devoutly at the midnight screening (i.e. all of the new Star Wars movies, Spider-Man, Batman, etc...) to be the first to have the glory that is Hollywood genius touch my eyeballs first. Before the ignorant public can corrupt such an artistic vision with it's critical folly:
"...everything is new and nothing is new."
-Entertainment Weekly
"...the film is about letting go of the past and choosing a happy future. It's LIFE."
-Ain't It Cool News
Typically if I see a film that cites either of these two sources as selling reviews so that I too will watch the film, I run away and don't look back. But if only for a moment in an inter-dimensional world, imagine that either of these two had insightful things to say about a movie that isn't a stand alone product of what contemporary Hollywood produces but in fact is virtually EVERY product that Hollywood produces. Both of these quotes could have been lifted directly from critical theory but were written by reviewers who spend most of their time praising comically bad C.G.I. special effects and seek multiple jump cuts to replace any sense of an effective plot. And though both of these reviews did ultimately land the film with good grades based on their respective scales, how could these little thought bombs come from this cluster of banality? Simply because in of both these quotes they state what the audience desires; complacency.
As expected, everything about the new Indiana Jones film is formulaic. So much so that you can literally finish lines before the actors on screen do at several points in the film. No moment passes where there isn't an Indiana Jones-ism being shoved down your throat. And not just the dialogue. Whether it's exploding walls, bombs, vehicles, people, or otherwise, the computer effects in this film didn't fall short of way too many. George Lucas wrote the film and wanted to try and top the original vision by replacing plot driven entertainment with a showcase of modern special effects. For American audiences this maybe convincing if not only because of the nostalgic factor that audiences in the West hold for these movies. In relation to the other films, this one is surely more comparable to the second film, 'The Temple of Doom' than to the predecessor or subsequent third film where Harrison Ford was joined by Sean Connery as Jones' father. Though they were all camp, in the second film Jones was joined by a young sidekick and the villains were ridiculously pulp comic mascots. Not that either of the other two films carried any plausible characters or by any means an original idea. That was never their intention. They were an homage to pulp shorts of the past just as Star Wars was. But it's almost embarrassingly silly especially that the new film is so similar to 'The Temple of Doom'.
In 'The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull' the time is appropriately about twenty years after the last film took place. Therefore the natural enemy in 1957 were the Russians who sought to destroy democracy in all it's incarnations and bring about some seemingly evil communist rule. But this historical context aside, the film is really about aliens. Yes aliens and how the Mayans were really ruled by inter-dimensional beings whose bones were made of magnetic crystal with strange properties that compelled people to go insane in understanding it. This all overwhelms the U.S. VS. Soviets dynamic you might expect (though the stereotypes are all there via tough Russian guy, page boy haircut on a domineering baroness type, and all the comments about Reds they can muster). As it turns out there were Soviet psychics who sought out the power of the crystal skulls to use as their own and rule the world. Sounds like desperation on the Red's part, but I suppose if you saw all the exciting waterfalls the journey entailed, you might want to try this route to world domination as well.
Overwhelmingly the movie was just what one would expect of a new Indiana Jones film. A sugar coated collection of arch-types and special effects with all the monotony broken up by modern day jump cuts to the max. If you start thinking about anything in the plot for a moment you will have already lost your place in the film. The story will have gone from New York to South America faster than you can crack a bull whip. But that's acceptable because afterall, "It's LIFE."
Indiana Jones & The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull is an entertainment. Simply that and dangerously so. Don't go to see the film expecting it to hold up to the films prior. But see it on a hot summer day in a second run dollar theatre where the popcorn is cheap and they have air conditioning. You're sure to have fun if only within that context.
